A team member sent me a message today apparently commiserating with me over the fact that my sons are unable to hear this message about the transition and how terrible that is. How sorry they are for my situation. They too are a parent of grown offspring who also feel equally sorry for us that we have become delusional in our old age. Sorrow all around.
Of course we feel “bad” that the other one isn’t “with us”. Everybody wants company. That’s what manifestation was all about from the first glisten in our eyes when we decided to set up Time Matrices. Company in “physical form”.
Which was never about hoping to see our fellow fractals of god happier, it was always about us being happier. From the first minute. Because they are already god, able to do all things, know all things and be all things. Which tells you right there that the fundamental emotion within any god from the very quantum of our thoughts is to concern ourselves with our own happiness and joy.
I struggled with this, so I spoke to council about it. Here’s the gist of what she told me;
-Some desires seem like they come from a place of selfishness, simply because the outcome of the transaction will result in our achieving what we want. But if that transaction really does lead to a positive exchange for both parties, then “selfish” isn’t selfish at all, but a balanced emotion always seeking something better-
What we fail to realize, is that just because someone can’t join you on a particular journey, it isn’t a bad thing or something to mourn. We feel “bad” that those who are choosing not to move forward now are “being left behind”.
This is ridiculous.
Your loved ones are on the journeys they chose to be on. Whether or not you would like to be on that same journey is of zero consequence to that choice. They are on a road to balance, just like you are, and they have chosen this direction to move in at this point in time. This is no different than the both of you choosing to travel to different villages while you are both walking through the forest together and parting directions. It doesn’t mean the other one is absolutely dying now, it just means you are making your own journey and so are they. For different reasons.
As humans, we have a tendency to choose only to support someone else if they are supporting us. We see this every minute of our days. One day we are kissing faces and the next we are dragging the other one to court to “destroy them” for breaking the marriage vows.
How did THAT happen?
If you “loved” each other yesterday, then how do you explain today where you retained “the best attorney there is” to eviscerate them in court for no other reason than they decided to travel to a different village than the one you are in or traveling to?
Yet to us, this is what “love” really means. Either you’re in the same boat together, or the other one is your mortal enemy. Phucker.
Same with our friends and family members who ignore your cries that the sky is falling while they go on to “make the beds in the Titanic” in your estimation. So you writhe in pain over the thought that they will be facing something they have no idea how horrible it will be and will suffer beyond measure should they continue to take their stand.
In the end, this is the very same thing as you dragging your husband or wife to court to punish them for not loving you anymore. Where you take from them 5000x more than you were ever rightfully due and justify that in your mind because you feel the slight from their act of abandoning you.
And that’s exactly what we’re talking about here. It has nothing to do with right or wrong, good or bad, or “love” at all. It is a selfish emotion at the outset where you want them to be on your journey with you and if they aren’t, then they are now the dead to you or “lost” in the forest of no return. Because you were abandoned. So therefore they should be sacrificed on the hottest burning alter. Or in the case of an offspring or family member, you will never get over your broken heart that they won’t be right there on the sofa next to you tomorrow.
Only when we finally realize that each individual fractal of god on this planet is a thousand times older than the tallest mountain and the creator of all that you have ever seen will we finally understand that our emotional concern for their future was never about love, it was always about selfishness. Because we are. Fundamentally. Selfish.
You will never “help” someone who you never allow to swim in the water for fear they might drown. You will never “care” for them by forbidding them from riding motorcycles, hang gliding, rock climbing or skydiving for fear they will get hurt. You will always be the one who denied them the chance to experience what it was they wanted to experience. And just because you aren’t ready to possibly fall off the face of a 1000 ft tall cliff yourself, doesn’t mean they aren’t ready to take that chance alone if they have to.
Of the unknown. Of the bear in the woods. The viper in that den. These are your fears, not theirs. They have long since slept with vipers 100,000,000 lifetimes ago and learned how to share that space. They were rock climbing a trillion years before your mountains ever were even thought of. Where they come from, they flew without glider wings everywhere they went for years too many to even number. They WANT to experience what they want to experience. They WANT to see what’s in that village that doesn’t interest you. And you WANT them to be glued to your side, REGARDLESS if that means denying them the adventures they seek.
How is that “love”? How is that your being noble? How do you reconcile in your mind that by dictating what someone else does, that is you being the good guy?
We want company. We designed hundreds of millions of Time Matrices that took billions of years apiece to perfect in order to achieve that. Of course we “want” company. That’s the only real thing anyone wants at the end of the day when the lights go out. But navigating someone else’s life for them is not the way to achieve that. You may as well go on down to Kmart and get yourself a wife-beater T right now so you can really play the part if that’s your idea of love.
Every loved one, family member, friend and confidant you have in this world is an ascended master who has seen and experienced the Deity Planes for themselves long before they ever met you. They don’t need your assistance to experience creation. If the two of you enjoy each other’s company, great. But vanilla with the same topping is not the same thing as trying every topping in the whole parlor. Not for you, and not for them.
So the next time you “feel bad” for someone who has chosen to take a right at the fork where you are taking a left, just know that it takes something more than just codependence and fear of the unknown for someone to brave off through the woods alone so they can see what’s on the other side. It takes faith in yourself, vision toward the future and determination to stand on your own two feet so that others might have the chance to do the same.
You are not fearful that Johnny is going to get hurt scaling that mountain, you are fearful that you will not get to see him much anymore since you are not yet ready to share such dangerous adventures yourself and you will lose his company. It was never about Johnny, it was always about you.
And now, the separation is really happening. After all these years of anguish and suffering, the transition is finally coming to pass and you are at the fork in the trail. Do I go left or do I go right? Which trail is Johnny going to take? Will I ever see him again? Will I get eaten by a bear? What if I don’t make it? What if Johnny does? What will that say about me? Me? Me? Me?
Right. I can be just that brutal because I am an Autistic Savant with Turrets, so it’s okay. Most people don’t like what I have to add to the conversation anyway, so I am used to the funny looks. But what if, maybe, mission guide just put his finger right inside the crack in my broken heart and gave it a twist to let me know that it is me breaking my own heart and has been all along because I am avoiding the very things I came here to overcome? What if I really do have a stack of those t shirts in my drawer that I take out and slip on when no one else is looking? Is that me who thinks the best way to make them love me is to beat them until they do?
Love doesn’t glue butterfly wings together, it teaches others how to spread them and fly in the direction that they choose. Heroes do that.